i realised that i hadn't used my brain for a long time
okay umm how to bring it... the supposing part of it that should think deeper, probably more humane.
i feel like a empty, hollow wooden doll... not good.

five days will quickly steep themselves into the night- Hippolyta

mine is six days
i miss church camp
and i know i might not be able to attend the one next year :(

anyways i so need the extended holidays
nono homework is almost done but im worrying for the chinese project
until now im still groupless
so im pretty much a convict walking up the gallows

praying hard for a miracle...

sigh this is so troublesome...
thats why i don't like projects (especially that you are the last in class)(no one wants me :( )
grr if only laoshi didn't dismantle my group.
some kind soul please accept me in...
i promise i'll work hard!!!

btw i've been reading DOGS: bullets and carnage
its pretty good
but its rated under seinen so little laughs there

i really think soul eater is a super good anime to watch
seriously!

why?

1)maka is super pro
2)the others are pro
3)the plot is not just plainly fighting
4)makes me emo
5)their moves are very detailed

dun't care the drawing style!
the plot is uber good!

now go watch it!!!!

eliz recommended
_________________________________________________________

seriously, now i think whether shonen jump mangas are actually good or not

okay i cannot judge much but after watching/reading three un-shonen jump mangas (kuroshitsuji, soul eater and fairytail)

shonen jump is like no brainer(with exception of death note)

yeah they hook people, but they don't move fast(plot wise), they don't show girl power much, they don't show struggle strongly, they don't portray something

example, kuroshitsuji portray power and corruption
soul eater probably struggle and insanity
(okay i don't really like fairytail)

hey im insulting my dgm but seriously, beside being exciting, give more dept hoshino!(almost there!)

Bleach and naruto is brainless...(naruto's drawings are messy >:( )

katekyo is very much lacking something but i dunno what that is (ARGH!)

gintama is okay... but a little bit lost its touch...

darn i sound like a naggy harpie but yeah

ARGH!SHONEN JUMP!

okay time for listing
from the most respectable to the not so ones (i don't judge by power)

1)Maka
2)Rukia(still owns)
3)Kagura
4)Mary
5)Merin
6)kyoko("what?!" you say, well, i think her character is very nice)
7)Chrome
8)Lenalee(absolute hate!!! but somehow some stuff she does makes me respect her)
9)Crona
10)Miranda

on and on goes eliz's droning...

end~!

i find it very hard to smile these days

one thing piles after another
all a waste of efforts
a waste of time

a domino stack
all falling
only hoping for a single piller of hope to weight them for me
but there is always none.

always so close,
only falling at the end
i do not blame anything
im just frustrated.

sorry if i made you frustrated

i seriously cannot stand the narrow mindedness of higher chinese.
one wrong point, one wrong word, and its all wrong
what a waste of efforts

i couldn't believe why they just taint language like that
look at english, look how meanings could be different
how it could accommodate different views

i doubt that its impossible for chinese
it could be done
after all, it has literature in its roots

then why they just taint it?
strict is good?(hah!)

i know its funny how i get so frustrated over a own view question
but its for my own view
then why did they call it a own view question?


for question C6,
i think like that would be great if we would have our own SEA uniqueness
who cares about going out for business?
didn't the essay say about learning our own roots and not so much about business?

how narrow minded things are

the answer key is always correct
the teacher is always correct

what about flexibility?
do you think we all think the same way?

im quiting next year
i would and could never stand this anymore

im not giving excuses for myself.
its just not my style to be narrow minded

for you to agree or disagree
its your own point and not mine
like i said, we all think differently

but of all
no need to tell me your comments
i find no need to know

this is my room during o lvls

dad please give it up.

bird A was standing alone on the metal bar
bird B flew towards bird A and chirped to it
bird A ruffled its feathers and irritatedly nodded to bird B
both birds went silent
bird A slightly shift away from bird B
trying to coax its feathers down
bird B shift away from bird A
bird A face to the right, bird B the left
bird B flew away
bird A's feathers went down and pretended nothing happened

so nostalgic...


saw that through the bus windows in the traffic jam today.. compressed by the numerous overly home-loving people packed against each other...
sometimes just looking at these tiny details make you feel comforted enough...
and somehow feel special that you notice this and not anyone else
its like a tiny secret

the secret little kids knew blind adults won't have
if i want something to last long,
i want to have the curiosity, observance and imagination of a child

i would still glance at clouds and watch birds fly
watch the sunset and pretend i can fly on Icarus wings

eat unglamously and to not care
play and laugh without constrain

i miss being as child
only to get despised by the society





end

i realised how much emotions i have ignored

how to build a doll

she stood at the end of crossroads
the end of that straight path
filled with gravel and bricks
that bruised her when she falls

she look back to the straight path
to those she hath walked through
that melacholic mess she made
but she displayed no emotion

because she was a doll

she used to walk through a field,
the grass blocking her fall
the sun guildance leads her
flowers share her joy

but she felt lonely
little butterflies fly away
the flowers could not sing
so she took a bet

because she was naive

the wind accepted her
as loners they played
the kite their bridge
the sky their barrier

wind loved the cloud
but cloud repelled it
wind could only lament to child
but did wind think of naive's feelings?

one day the wind did not come
it claims naive could not be with it
the wind wanted to take her to the clouds
but she could not fly

beacuse she was misery

misery waited day after day
in that barren wastefield
the grass had dried
the flowers wiltered

wind never came
it had flown on
misery stood up
a sword in her hand

her face was anger
her eyes vengence
each slash revenge
wind's words her fuel

because she was hate

hate stumbled upon a dead end
a bottomless valley with hollowed calls
she allowed herself to fall forward
until shadow broke her fall

shadow was hate's only comfort
hate's ray of light
it never reply her
but it never left her

together they created a world
filling the world of white with figures of black
they created a mad wonderland
as she realised her fury

because she was insanity

wind's kite, flower's song
she missed them all
as she walked back to the light
slowly even her shadow fade away

light brought the real world
light could not bring comfort
insanity was lost
insanity opened her eyes and became blind

in this bright, cold road,
insanity knew she could not live
insanity knew she could not love
insanity knew she have to walk on

because she was a doll

shadow,insanity stayed behind
a distant presence
wind weaved gently around it
it gave no reaction

its purpose is to walk
only to walk
in this road of gravel and bricks
it would not slip

she knew this road will never end
this machanism would never rust
doll would never fly
doll would never fall


doll's life would end as a doll




end~!