i realised how much emotions i have ignored

how to build a doll

she stood at the end of crossroads
the end of that straight path
filled with gravel and bricks
that bruised her when she falls

she look back to the straight path
to those she hath walked through
that melacholic mess she made
but she displayed no emotion

because she was a doll

she used to walk through a field,
the grass blocking her fall
the sun guildance leads her
flowers share her joy

but she felt lonely
little butterflies fly away
the flowers could not sing
so she took a bet

because she was naive

the wind accepted her
as loners they played
the kite their bridge
the sky their barrier

wind loved the cloud
but cloud repelled it
wind could only lament to child
but did wind think of naive's feelings?

one day the wind did not come
it claims naive could not be with it
the wind wanted to take her to the clouds
but she could not fly

beacuse she was misery

misery waited day after day
in that barren wastefield
the grass had dried
the flowers wiltered

wind never came
it had flown on
misery stood up
a sword in her hand

her face was anger
her eyes vengence
each slash revenge
wind's words her fuel

because she was hate

hate stumbled upon a dead end
a bottomless valley with hollowed calls
she allowed herself to fall forward
until shadow broke her fall

shadow was hate's only comfort
hate's ray of light
it never reply her
but it never left her

together they created a world
filling the world of white with figures of black
they created a mad wonderland
as she realised her fury

because she was insanity

wind's kite, flower's song
she missed them all
as she walked back to the light
slowly even her shadow fade away

light brought the real world
light could not bring comfort
insanity was lost
insanity opened her eyes and became blind

in this bright, cold road,
insanity knew she could not live
insanity knew she could not love
insanity knew she have to walk on

because she was a doll

shadow,insanity stayed behind
a distant presence
wind weaved gently around it
it gave no reaction

its purpose is to walk
only to walk
in this road of gravel and bricks
it would not slip

she knew this road will never end
this machanism would never rust
doll would never fly
doll would never fall


doll's life would end as a doll




end~!

I dreamt of such rain
Whispering through the dark alleyway
Bursting the tinted glass windows
They draft the sky with such fury
They turn yellow in sick pain
As they burst the sun and its yoke aside
Then covered nothing but their gray

I walked through that rain
Whispering through that dark alleyway
Framing that silhouette at the glass windows
An angel who pasted his prime
With wings stained black with grief
He asked me as he fell
What went wrong with himself

Neither I answered nor he
As we watch his decent towards the grey
He turned to the sky, his wings ready
May god bless you, amen
He left nothing as if a dream
Only a black feather
That withered to dust.

oh my ass....
to much trinity blood!
but yeah just now when its still sunny and hot
i dreamt of heavy rain and now its raining heavly
to the extend i have to force myself to wake up to open the windows
urgh >:(

oh and wad i dreamt
everyone from wadever place i met them, we were snow tobogganing down some super icy mountain for 7 hours!!!!(but i only slept for 2 hours?)

while sliding still got time to talk somemore... rofl...
but everything is icy blue and white and can see landscape somemore...
and i'm like really riding down the thing its sooooooo fun larh

but now i headache cause it must have took up a lot of energy to conjure it up...

then then after that we went to some indian shop to eat rice and curry...
then i had some communication problems with the uncle there... wth...


haha there was another dream last night
i was reading (supposedly) dgm book 18 (which is not released now)(psst the cover is timothy)
then got this bunch of jap women surround me and flip the book here and there while still holding it and they start speaking jap that i don't understand then they walk off...
then later i met them and they say konbawa to me...

-________________-

its back to the midsummer night dream kindda dreams.... -____________-
weired and stupid...

oh well... go bathe

end~!