i find it very hard to smile these days

one thing piles after another
all a waste of efforts
a waste of time

a domino stack
all falling
only hoping for a single piller of hope to weight them for me
but there is always none.

always so close,
only falling at the end
i do not blame anything
im just frustrated.

sorry if i made you frustrated

i seriously cannot stand the narrow mindedness of higher chinese.
one wrong point, one wrong word, and its all wrong
what a waste of efforts

i couldn't believe why they just taint language like that
look at english, look how meanings could be different
how it could accommodate different views

i doubt that its impossible for chinese
it could be done
after all, it has literature in its roots

then why they just taint it?
strict is good?(hah!)

i know its funny how i get so frustrated over a own view question
but its for my own view
then why did they call it a own view question?


for question C6,
i think like that would be great if we would have our own SEA uniqueness
who cares about going out for business?
didn't the essay say about learning our own roots and not so much about business?

how narrow minded things are

the answer key is always correct
the teacher is always correct

what about flexibility?
do you think we all think the same way?

im quiting next year
i would and could never stand this anymore

im not giving excuses for myself.
its just not my style to be narrow minded

for you to agree or disagree
its your own point and not mine
like i said, we all think differently

but of all
no need to tell me your comments
i find no need to know

this is my room during o lvls

dad please give it up.

bird A was standing alone on the metal bar
bird B flew towards bird A and chirped to it
bird A ruffled its feathers and irritatedly nodded to bird B
both birds went silent
bird A slightly shift away from bird B
trying to coax its feathers down
bird B shift away from bird A
bird A face to the right, bird B the left
bird B flew away
bird A's feathers went down and pretended nothing happened

so nostalgic...


saw that through the bus windows in the traffic jam today.. compressed by the numerous overly home-loving people packed against each other...
sometimes just looking at these tiny details make you feel comforted enough...
and somehow feel special that you notice this and not anyone else
its like a tiny secret

the secret little kids knew blind adults won't have
if i want something to last long,
i want to have the curiosity, observance and imagination of a child

i would still glance at clouds and watch birds fly
watch the sunset and pretend i can fly on Icarus wings

eat unglamously and to not care
play and laugh without constrain

i miss being as child
only to get despised by the society





end