i found out that i have no love in music

they say that music gives u joy.
what i only saw was stress...

they said that its easy to make joyful music.
is was damn freaking hard for me to...

they say that u don't need to be talented to make good music.
yeah rite...


i dun like it
i some sort of hate it...
hate it so much that i wanna break my arm so that i wouldn't touch the piano again
and dun get blamed for not playing that idiotic thing ever again...

playing the piano is such a chore for me
to others it's a way to relieve stress...

to think that family have no musical talent
yet my parents still think i have...
want me to do well,
want me to be a PIANO TEACHER( my foot lar! its like thats the job at the bottom of my list)
yak yak yak

i hate it
i really hate it like that...
i dun have any TALENT in it

i couldn't quit
cause if i quit
i'll get killed...

killed for wasting years of money...

i feel so stupid...
why did choose piano
why didn't i choose karate???
why didn't i choose fencing (sword fighting)?
why didn't i choose archery???
why did i choose music above acadamic stuff(tutions)?

im tired...
i feel sick...
i dun feel like going out...
its gonna be hard for me to bring myself to church today again...
















sigh...